Having frank conversations about challenging issues with young people is not always simple.
It’s common to say things like “You can already get over it”.
Adolescents’ apathy, though, might lead them to shut down emotionally and keep their sentiments to themselves.
Respect your child’s thoughts and emotions and encourage them to share them with you.
The capacity to listen attentively is fundamental to effective conversation. Instead of proposing a fast solution, try comprehending his issues and putting yourself in his shoes.
Allow it to know that you are always willing to listen to the problems and concerns that are important to it.
How to Practice Active Listening?
To demonstrate active listening with your kid, consider the following discussion between a parent and child.
A concerned parent asks, “Honey, what’s wrong?”
Kid: It’s nothing, please don’t bother me. What’s up with never knocking?
Saying “I’m sorry” as a parent is a common occurrence. I was sure I heard you scream. Want to fill me in on what’s happening?
Kid: You wouldn’t get it.
Parent: Possibly. You’d be amazed to learn how much we have in common, so I can give it a go at least once.
Kid: I doubt that.
Parent: Now, then, what’s going on?
Kid: (blubbering) Alex invited everyone except me to his party.
Parent: “Oh, honey. Absolutely horrible. Yeah, I get it. Having been through something similar, I know how bad this is for you. I had a similar experience, and it left me feeling alone.
Kid: “Why? What did you do?”
Parent: The dredge lake was a regular hangout for my closest buddy Paul and me when I was your age. But then he suddenly decided he had had enough and refused to return. Then I ran into him and another schoolmate down by the lake.
Kid: So, what did you do then?
Parent: I felt sorry, I really did. At home, your grandmother discovered me sobbing alone.
Kid: I want to know what Grandma said.
Parent: We talked much like the one we had with you. It was her advice that I just needed to move on.
Kid: Did you eventually feel better?
Parent: She was absolutely correct. In the long run, I see myself as fitting that description. It struck me really hard, and I got the impression that she was upset with me. That didn’t make it any less severe for me, however. In retrospect, I can pinpoint the precise moment when I felt so rejected.
Kid: Am I bothering you?
Parent: Nonsense, says the concerned parent. It hurts when you’re left out, so I understand how you feel.
Kid: I don’t know what to do about it.
A parent could say, “I didn’t know that either.” When everything was said and done, I realized that being friends with Paul was detrimental to me. Nothing about it worked. From that point on, I tried to keep myself emotionally far from the effects of his actions.
That’s good news, and it helped me feel better. I guarantee it.
This parent has asked their child pointed questions and offered up examples from their own lives to get to the bottom of what’s upsetting their kid.
This method allows the teen to feel heard and respected.
The child’s worries were validated as reasonable and not exaggerated, laying the groundwork for more discussions of this kind.
Take comfort in their rapid speech, because what matters most is that you understand and provide their emotional, intellectual, and physical demands.”
Techniques of attentive listening
Reiterating the other person’s words to show you understand them is a valuable tactic while negotiating. It would help if you also gave this method a go with your kid.
For example, you may ask, “So you’re scared that your buddy doesn’t like you anymore, right?” Strange as it may seem, demonstrating such insight and attentiveness to your kid is a powerful tool.
If your kid’s self-esteem is damaged, you can fix it.
Some parents, are too focused on themselves to properly guide their children. But we must realize that this is all about our kids.
So we advise parents to “embrace their pace,” as it is more important that their children effectively communicate their ideas and emotions and that their needs be met.